A Theme for the Year

I discovered journaling themes almost by accident.  It was in December 2000, and the start not only of a new year, but a new century.  I wanted to do something different, off the beaten track, so I decided to select a theme for my journaling during the coming year.  What I didn’t expect, was that theme selection itself can be a tough challenge.  There’s the whole world of topics to select from, and which one would I be willing to take on for the next 365 days?  And what was the degree of commitment?  What might sustain interest for a year?  It would have to be broad enough to provide fodder for thought and insights, and yet narrow the focus to a reasonable area.  Should it be a daily commitment?  Maybe that’s a lot to ask, and not leave enough space for other things I want to include.  Weekly?  Maybe.  Monthly?  Probably not often enough.  This theme idea was more difficult than I expected.  And in the midst of all the daily clutter, how could I track on it?  What kind of topic would be of current interest, and yet sustainable in the long view?  What was I really interested in?  Questions.  Questions.  And no one to guide me – this is my own “great idea.” Right.?  So what to do?

     Finally, the answer I landed on was that it didn’t really matter, except to me, so a trial-and-error approach would be a start.  I set myself some guidelines.  Aim for writing something related to the theme (whatever it would be) as often as I felt like it, or not, but at the end of each month, just scan quickly through the month’s entries for theme related material, and make a quick grocery list style summary on how it went.  At least, that would remind me about how the long-range theme project was going.  Maybe take a snapshot of the whole thing at the end of the year?  Yeah, right.

     Well, OK – bashing on – pick that theme!  I picked a simple one, because I love gardens:  “Cycle of the Seasons.”  That was my first theme, and it was January, 2000.  I just sort of talked my way through the weather, the snow storms, the temperatures, the seed catalogues, mapped current flower beds, the visiting birds at the feeders, the rabbit and deer tracks (deer?  In the city?  Oh, my!).  And as spring approached, the melting, the daffodils, the return of the robins, the fledgling dove I rescued.  In summer, the tomatoes from the neighbor’s garden, the picnics, the constant grass mowing, the tornado alerts.  In fall, the house plants brought back inside, the gorgeous colors of the leaves on the sweetgum tree, the first frost.  By the end of the year, it was a treasure trove capturing the cycle of the year 2000.  I love doing it so much, I’ve kept that as an on-going entry in all my journals and never tire of it.  Except, now that I think of it, last year when that tree fell on me! Lucky it was a small one and the many leaves provided a soft cushion all over me!  Ah, that was a lively journal entry for that day!)

     Anyway, a journaling theme project can provide a year of interesting discoveries.  There are so many on my future list, that it is hard to choose each year.  It depends on what I want to focus on at that point in my life.  I’m including a list of journaling themes I’ve actually used.  In a practical sense, they might spark an idea.

Themes to Love, Themes of Challenge

• “Feathering the Nest” (2001)
•  “Diet and Health” (2002)
• “Relation-ships” (2003)
• “Joy and the Spirit” (2004)
• “Morning Song” (2005)
•  “Bountiful Life” (2006)
• “Know Thyself” (2007)
•  “Photo-Analysis” (2008)
•  “Let Deeds be Your Adorning” (2009)
• “Seeking Center” (2010)
• “Deeply Carved” (2011)
• “Leap Year” (2012)
• “Oasis” (2013
• “Windows” (2014)

What I Never Expected to Learn from “Leap Year” (2012):

This is my final journal entry from that year:

     “On January 1, 2012, I expressed the theme of ‘Leap Year’ as ‘a leap, a jump, from one place in time to another; in effect, one condition to another.’ It could be leaps across new spaces, bridges of connections, to be sensitive, to raise consciousness, of risks, exploring the untried, of valuing new connections, of discovery and changes in attitudes, processes, feelings, and ways of thinking and doing.

     It is sobering, to look in retrospect at how deeply this theme impacted upon my life in ways which were unanticipated and profound.  Little did I realize how apt this simple theme was to become for me. 

     The sudden death of my husband on August 18, 2012, was life-changing and immediate in its impact.  In one minute, there was Before and After, wife to widow, togetherness to aloneness, communication to silence.

     For weeks, I could not function beyond weeping for the least sort of reason, and those reasons were always around me.  I couldn’t read.  I couldn’t draw.  I couldn’t sleep.  There was grief, bottled up, but no relief.  I did a lot of walking and became compulsive in housekeeping, and found an outlet by completing plans and projects we had talked about: painting walls, fixing tiles, installing doors, etc.

     And I would find detailed notes on old IBM cards left at key spots around the house, lists which he had made – his ‘To Do’ notes to keep me going.  They are invaluable to me now, as I pick my way along the path into the future.  It’s him, preparing the information he knew would be needed, as I feel my way along from day to day.  They are the products of his research, organized by an orderly mind, and left as acts of love for me to find, sign-posts along the way, as I move into a new year, but no more “leaping” for a while, I pray.  In Memoriam, December 31, 2012.”